BROOKLYN, New York. When it comes to love and marriage, we all have different needs. Some individuals are looking for an intense physical connection, while others are perfectly content with companionate love and the deep friendship that can develop between two people over the course of a long marriage. Marriages end for many reasons. There may have been a true mismatch between the couple’s personalities which may have been masked by the early days of passion. Or, maybe the couple’s personalities match well, but the couple learns that they are not physically compatible. Or, perhaps the couple just grew apart.
However, when it comes to mismatched physical desires, some couples are considering opening up their marriage to other relationships as a solution. While this option can work for couples who are compatible emotionally, and who are both open to the idea, the option may not work if there are deeper underlying issues of trust or incompatibility. What happens when your partner wants an open relationship and you do not?
According to a New York Times article called, “Is an Open Marriage a Happier Marriage” more married couples who are facing divorce are asking themselves whether an open marriage is a potential alternative to divorce. For some couples, honesty and transparency is the answer to the desire to be unfaithful. Rather than ending their marriage because one partner has feelings for another person, these couples open up their marriages. Open marriages may or may not involve sex outside the marriage, but they all include a commitment to be honest when one partner has feelings for someone outside the marriage. It requires a degree of honesty and openness not all marriages can withstand. In fact, the New York Times reports that non-monogamous relationships may involve more rules rather than fewer rules. When couples bring in other people into the marriage, they often set ground rules about when and where dates can happen, with whom they can happen, and how often. Non-monogamy doesn’t exclude the possibility that cheating can occur.
According to a therapist writing for Psychology Today, sometimes, the choice to open up a relationship is a misguided effort to save a marriage that has ended. In order for an open relationship to work, both parties need to feel committed to it. If one partner wants it and the other does not, this can signal deeper troubles that can arise should the marriage get opened up. Additionally, if the opening up occurs because one partner cheated, it may be wise to negotiate the new terrain with the help of a therapist or counselor.
When open relationships do work, they often begin with communication. If the communication in your marriage has broken down, then the relationship won’t likely work, open or not. Navigating the end or changed terms in a relationship can be challenging. It is important to understand your options, including your legal options if divorce is on the table. The Elliot Green Law Offices are divorce lawyers in Brooklyn, New York who can help you understand your options when it comes to divorce or separation. Our firm can assist you as you navigate changes in your marriage, including helping you understand your legal rights when it comes to separation. Visit us at https://www.elliotgreenlaw.com/ to learn more today.
Elliot Green Law Offices
32 Court Street, Suite 404
Brooklyn, NY 11201